Alex had her birthday last week. But because she and Sam stay at the condo near their school on weekdays, we didn’t have a chance to celebrate as a family until last night. We had dinner at a Japanese restaurant then saw a movie. The Green Hornet on 3D. I wasn’t expecting a lot, nothing deep nor mind-stimulating definitely, but I did expect to be entertained. As it turned out… there were several moments while watching The Green Hornet when I wondered if we shouldn’t have gone and seen Season of the Witch instead.
Hell, The Green Hornet was awful. Lower than awful. The only saving grace was the obvious attempt not to stereotype Kato as a second class hero because he is Asian — a not-too-successful attempt but an attempt nevertheless. I don’t know if you’re aware of the politics behind the old Hornet shows on radio, on television and on film. When writers try to dissect the unfair treatment that Asians get in Hollywood, The Green Hornet‘s sidekick, Kato, is often mentioned. As do Fu Manchu and the inevitable Asian female whores.
But that’s not really why The Green Hornet sucks. It sucks because the story was crap. It sucks because most of the supposedly funny moments weren’t funny at all. It sucks because the lead actor, Seth Rogen (who co-wrote the story) sucked in his role — his character Britt Reid sucked too. I didn’t know who Seth Rogen was until Sam said he was the guy in Knocked Up which I saw but don’t remember much about except that, as usual, Katherine Heigl was gorgeous.
So what was wrong with Seth Rogen and the character he played? Okay, at first I thought it was a case of bad casting. You know, that had someone else played Britt Reid, the film might have turned out better. On second thought, no. NO.
Britt Reid, a.k.a. the Green Hornet, is a ditzy, clueless playboy. And there are lots of ditzy, clueless playboys and playgirls in Hollywood movies who, despite their stupidity, were lovable and endearing anyway. But Britt Reid was irritatingly annoying. His lines consisted mostly of what I can only describe as a cross between faux gangster and high school dropout. Part of the ditzy character? Maybe. But when delivered in Seth Rogen’s high pitched screech, the lines were annoyingly irritating. Listening to him was, in fact, a painful experience.
To be fair, the last twenty minutes of the film where most of the action was compressed was not so bad. If you want to see the movie, find a movie house where you can walk in in the middle of the screening. Go in about thirty minutes before the film ends then stay for the next screening to see what you missed. That way, you enter on a high note and feel entertained enough so that the rest becomes bearable. That way, you won’t feel like asking for a refund.
Garlands and Lights on the Stair Banister